Main Aur Meri Tanhai~ An Hour with ME.

“Main Aur Meri Tanhai~ An Hour with ME” … something I found interesting to ponder on … If you were to sit alone and chat for one hour with just one person, past or present, who would it be? …... go ahead and think .... 

** I came across this post in a group debate and almost all had a say to pen down. Within minutes there were over 560 comments written, while many went about getting an opportunity with lost ones, a few more wanted time with loved ones. The question was brilliantly put across that made me think deeply for some time. Who ?? Dad ?? who is no more would be first for sure as there is so much unsaid that I would love to say and it’s been over 2 decades since I heard his voice, I thought it would be lovely to catch up on.

** On further thoughts I felt maybe Mom, but then I speak to her often. Hubby ?? but then we are together 24X7 and we know each other in and out, what more could I say. Then thoughts of siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, relatives, friends, neighbors all zoomed across my mind, who ?? A simple question now became a tougher one. Ahha difficult to choose Isn’t it ?? Then, something deep within me felt strongly that it should be ME. I had somewhere missed myself through decades of lifetime and I think it is high time I catch up on myself.

** The decision was made that it would be ME, I would rewind and once again walk through my journey, find my strong and weak points, my achievements, my failures, introspect on issues that I had dealt with, would it be same or should it have been differently. This was interesting that each one of us needed to go through, I plunged headlong into and lost myself over the stipulated time as I traveled through the lanes of memories one by one. If you don’t believe me, try rewinding yourself and you will completely agree with me.

** I remember the song from Silsila by AB sung emotionally में और मेरी तन्हाई ... अक्सर ये बातें करते हैं ... the lyrics mean me and my loneliness often speak to ourselves … Very thoughtfully written lines that has always intrigued me. I rush back to those lovely childhood days filled with happiness, a huge family, hard working parents, uncles, aunts, cousins who always dropped by, those growing up years with siblings, somehow I can’t remember having fights, maybe being youngest I was pampered a lot which is what I miss the most now.

** Neighbors, friends, are all a part of past, we do come across new friends, neighbors but there is nothing like childhood one’s with whom we spent best of times. We can still catch up like house on fire despite a gap of decades if at all we come across each other again. Those wonderful days when you eyed your sibling’s wardrobe despite having your own. Those ornaments, accessories, nail polish, lipstick, oh yes, I wanted to have them all so much that I, reached out to them when they were not around only to be given a sound hearing later on.

** Sigh, childhood was fun that is always captured in memories. Gone are those days, with maturity comes responsibility and life moves on like a well-oiled machine settled down with a job, family, so on … A new life, beautiful nevertheless, this too passes off blissfully and before you realize “saanj dhali hey” meaning its dusk. My heart says, roll back the clock please, there are so many words I need to say, things I need to do, but all gone. Once again there are only those beautiful moments to browse through, some edged with sorrows.

** More than an hour of sitting on bench with ME ticks by, making me realize that the time that passes cannot be retrieved but can be visited only in memories. But, yes, good and bad memories will always be on etched in my heart for lifetime … they will always be kept alive by living through them as memories when I sit alone on that rocking chair by my window side … में और मेरी तन्हाई ... अक्सर ये बातें करते हैं ... session on bench has taught me that if not in real life, I can reach out in reel life to those golden days etched in my heart.

** Disclaimer : These are Just my own Thoughts I pen down that keeps changing over years. Not meant to be taken on serious note, as it is not meant to offend or hurt anybody's sentiments, do excuse if done as it is not intentional. Having written My Thoughts and Notes, I still conclude that LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL and there is more to it than meets the eye. So, always be Positive, Always have Faith In God, he knows the best for us and does so at the appropriate time. The picture is from google, written edition by me, so credit of original pic. goes to them. Have a lovely year ahead.